The Secret to Being Happy When You’re by Yourself: 20 Ways to Become Your Own Best Friend

Some folks thrive on their own company. Solo travel might be difficult for some people. A committed extrovert may learn to like spending time alone, even if he or she is not used to it.

A solid connection with oneself is a worthwhile investment regardless of how you feel about being alone. There is no harm in learning to love spending a lot of time with oneself.

When you’re on your own, you’re not lonely.

The terms “being alone” and “being lonely” must first be distinguished in order to understand how to be content while you’re on your own. Although there are some similarities, they are two very distinct ideas.

Maybe you’re one of those people who thrives in solitary confinement. You’re not a recluse, a loner, or a hopeless romantic. You’re satisfied to spend time by yourself. You even anticipate it. That’s not loneliness; that’s just being alone.

On the other side, you may be surrounded by loved ones, but your relationships with them are superficial, leaving you feeling lonely and unfulfilled. Perhaps you find yourself wishing for companionship while you’re alone. That’s what it feels like to be alone.

You must first realize that being alone does not imply that you are lonely before you go into the nitty gritty of being happy alone. It’s possible to be alone without feeling lonely, but this doesn’t have to be the case.

Short-term tips to get you going

These pointers are meant to help you get started. They won’t change your life overnight, but they might make you more at ease while you’re on your own.

They might be just what you’ve been looking for. You may not understand what others are saying. As stepping stones, use them. Adapt them to fit your lifestyle and personality as you go along.

1. Don’t compare yourself to other people.

Try not to compare your social life to anybody else’s, even if it’s difficult. In the end, it’s not how many friends you have or how often you go out with them that really counts. It’s all about finding a solution that’s right for you.

Remember that you can’t tell whether a person with a lot of friends and a full social schedule is genuinely happy.

2. Take a break from social media to recharge.

Even while social media isn’t inherently harmful or troublesome, you may want to take a break if it’s making you feel isolated and anxious. The information provided by that stream is incomplete. Not even close.

It’s impossible to tell whether such folks are actually content or if they’re simply pretending to be. It doesn’t matter how you feel about it. In other words, take a deep breath and look at the big picture.

Test your social media abstinence by denying yourself access to it for a period of 48 hours. As a test, set a daily time restriction of 10 to 15 minutes and see whether it makes a difference.

3. Take a vacation from your phone.

Do you see a pattern emerging here? It is undeniable that cell phones and social media have transformed the idea of solitude.

Anyone who has a cell phone and is able to text or contact anyone is not really alone. How about checking up on a high school friend without ever having to speak to them?

Not to say that technology doesn’t play a critical role in fostering community and making it easier to connect with loved ones who are a long distance from you. But it’s tempting to depend on gadgets to avoid spending time alone with your thoughts.

Turn off your phone and put it away for an hour the next time you’re alone. Connect with yourself and discover what it’s like to be completely alone.

Having a hard time occupying your time? Write down ideas for activities to do when you’re alone and don’t know what else to do.

4. Give your mind time to wander.

Is the idea of doing nothing a worry for you? This is probably due to the fact that you haven’t been able to simply be for a long time.

Set a 5-minute timer and see what happens. That concludes our discussion.

After five minutes of hearing no, here’s what I came up with:

  • television
  • music
  • internet
  • podcasts
  • books

Sit or lay down in an area that is comfortable for you. If you prefer, you may close your eyes, dim the lights, or look out the window. In the event that sitting for long periods of time isn’t an option for you, consider something more physically active like dribbling a basketball or doing the dishes.

See where your thoughts lead you if you let them roam. If you don’t see results right away, don’t give up. You’ll grow accustomed to this newfound independence with time.

5. Go on a date with yourself

As cliché as it sounds, self-dates are a wonderful way to learn how to be content in one’s own company.

What if you’re stumped? Consider yourself on a real date, and your goal is to make a good impression by having fun. What are your plans for them? What do you hope they’ll see or feel?

Let’s go on a date, shall we? Many people dine alone or buy one-person movie tickets, so don’t be afraid to try it out for the first time.

Don’t go large if money is a problem. However, keep in mind that paying for one person is far less expensive than paying for two.

Is it still too much to handle? Take a 10-minute break at a coffee shop to get the ball rolling. Be aware of your surroundings and take them all in. Being able to go out on your own will no longer feel strange.

6. Go for a walk in the woods

There you have it: another another cliché. But honestly, go out there and enjoy the fresh air. The park, the beach, or your own garden are all great places to relax. Relax and enjoy nature’s sights, sounds, and fragrances. It’s time to take in the fresh air.

Spending 30 minutes or more a week in nature may help alleviate symptoms of sadness and reduce blood pressure, according to research.

7. Get physical

Endorphins are brain chemicals that may make you happy when released during exercise.

To begin exercising, even if it’s just for a few minutes a day, it’s best to start small. Every day, take a minute or two out of your day to be more active. Weight training, aerobics, or sports may be tried as you develop more self-confidence.

It’s also an excellent way to get over any apprehension you may have about venturing out on your own.

8. Make the most of your time alone.

Some individuals have a hard time being joyful when they’re alone. That being said, there is no one to listen to you rant about your day at the office or remind you that the stove is still on.

With that said, there are certain positives to living alone (naked vacuuming anyone?). Make the most of the extra mental and physical space that comes with living alone. Here are some suggestions:

  • Take over the whole room. You can eat this delicious supper for the next week if you spend the day occupying the whole kitchen.
  • Spread your wings. Trying to rekindle a pastime? Decide the supplies you’ll need for your next project by laying them out on the floor. You’re not done making up your mind in a day, are you? There’s nothing I can’t handle. Even if it’s a week from now, leave it out until you’re done.
  • Dance the night away. As far as I can tell, this one is self-explanatory. Turn up the volume of your favorite tunes if you don’t mind upsetting your neighbors. There is no one looking at you, so dance as if no one is.

9. Become Involved

There are so many ways to give back to the community and help those in need. Volunteering may be done in person or from the comfort of your own home. Regardless of how you choose to serve others, it may make you feel good to do so. Additionally, it may help you maintain a sense of community while still allowing you to obtain some much-needed alone time.

Find out what you can do to give back to your community as a volunteer. What works best for you is the one that feels correct. Make sure that their requirements are compatible with your capabilities.

It’s absolutely normal to try something else if the first one doesn’t work out.

10. Never miss a chance to show someone compassion at random.

A recent study found that expressing gratitude has a positive effect on one’s mood and outlook on life.

As you go about your daily routine, it’s tempting to take things for granted. Reflect on the things in your life for which you are thankful.

It’s not necessary for them to be amazing or mind-blowing. Even a simple cup of coffee in the morning or a song that soothes your nerves might serve as a source of comfort.

Whether you do it mentally or physically, make a list of the things you are grateful for in your life. When you’re alone and feeling down, pull this list out and use it as a reminder of all the good things in your life.

11. Take some time for yourself.

Introspection is a healthy practice. Self-judgment that is harsh is not. Self-esteem and happiness are devoured by it. When your inner critic starts to berate you, listen to the more encouraging voice within your brain (you know it’s there).

Keep in mind that you shouldn’t be harsher on yourself than you would be on anybody else. Keep in mind that everyone makes errors, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Remember all the amazing things you have to offer the world.

12. Prepare a delicious supper for yourself.

No one to share a meal with? You don’t have to dine in front of the television if you’re dining alone. Cook a delicious supper for yourself.

To prepare for a dinner party, do all you would normally do to prepare for a meal for a group of people. There is nothing you can’t do for yourself.

13. Find a creative outlet

Have you always wanted to try something new, but have put it off because you were afraid? If you’re not excellent at it, don’t worry about it. The goal is to broaden your horizons and experience new things.

Get your hands dirty and beautify your house. Take up a new hobby, whether it’s playing an instrument, painting, or crafting a short story. Learn on your own or take a course. Take your time and evaluate whether it’s worth pursuing before rushing in.

If you don’t like it, you may check it off your to-do list and go on to the next item on your list.

14. Make arrangements for solitary excursions.

Make a list of fun activities and schedule them in your calendar. Give yourself a reason to smile. The anticipation is, after all, a big part of the enjoyment. You may be more likely to follow through if you have it scheduled on your calendar.

Stay at a bed and breakfast in a local town. Attend a local farmers market or festival. Take advantage of the buzz around a concert or an art display by purchasing tickets to attend. Determine what you’d want to do and then make it happen.

Tips for the long haul to keep things moving

After a while, you’ll be able to dive a little further into what it’s like to live on your own.

15. It’s time to shake things up a little!

Even if your routine is working, it might ultimately become a rut and leave you feeling unmotivated. Just take a moment to consider your normal routine and the environment around you. Is there anything that still excites you, and is there anything that has become boring?

If you’re unsure, give it a go anyhow. Make things new again. Paint a wall or reorganize your furnishings. Find a new coffee shop, start a garden, or clean and organize. Find a way to get yourself out of this rut by making a shift.

16. Improve your ability to deal with stressful situations.

Things go wrong in life, and we have to deal with them. That which cannot be ignored must be faced head-on. However, could you recall a moment when something unpleasant occurred and you learned how to cope with it effectively? That’s a talent you should work on honing.

Consider how you dealt with the situation in the past and why it worked for you. Consider how you may use the same frame of mind to deal with the current situation. It’s also a wonderful moment to pat yourself on the back for all your hard work. The odds are that you’re more tougher and more resilient than you believe yourself to be.

17. Relationships need to be nurtured.

You may discover that you are spending less time with others as you get more at ease being by yourself. That’s OK, but it’s still necessary to maintain intimate social ties.

After work, make plans to see a member of your family, a friend, or the rest of your team. Do something kind for someone you haven’t spoken to in a while.

18. Learn to forgive yourself and others.

What does it matter whether you’re happy if you forgive someone? It turns out a lot. Forgiveness has been shown to provide health advantages, including the reduction of stress, anxiety, and sadness.

In the end, it’s not about helping the other person feel better, but rather making yourself feel better. Yes, even if you don’t send the letter, writing a letter of forgiveness to someone who injured you is still acceptable.

Allowing yourself to be forgiven may be a great stress reliever. In the meanwhile, don’t forget to forgive yourself.

19. Take good care of yourself

Mental and physical health are intertwined, and both are affected by the other. Happiness may be boosted by taking care of your physical well-being. This is also a great method to build a positive connection with oneself.

Incorporate healthy habits such as a balanced diet, frequent exercise, and enough of sleep into your alone time. Make an appointment with your doctor for a yearly physical and follow-up care for any preexisting issues.

20. Make long-term plans for your life.

Do you know where you want to go in the next five or ten years? In order to achieve those objectives, what do you need to do? Making a note of this might aid your decision-making process.

This activity should be revisited yearly to assess whether your objectives have been met or if they need to be updated. Having a vision for the future may help you feel more positive and hopeful in the present moment.


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